College Bound
November, 2022. Written for the NYC Midnight contest with a 250-word limit. A satirical look at the college application process.
This was a submission for the NYC Midnight contest. The piece could not be longer than 250 words.
November, 2022
College Bound
“Are your applications submitted yet, Oliver? Deadline is in a few hours. Harvard. MIT. Stanford. The safety schools are next month.”
“Almost Mom. Still a few things left to get done. The person we hired to write my essays hasn’t sent them to Marla yet. She’s got my Common App open and will upload them upon arrival.”
“Glad I hired her for you too. She may be poor, but seems dependable. What about your AP homework?”
“Ben is away this week, so he got Jeremy to cover. He said he’d have it done by 9.”
“Hopefully Jeremy does better than the last time he filled in. Remember the A minus on that Chemistry project?”
“That sucked. My GPA dropped a few points. Nevermind the low SAT score he got for me.”
“Awful. 1520. Did Ricky check in with you after the soccer game? He said he’d score a goal with your name on it. That puts you at ten for the season. The more goals the better for your application. Oliver, where are you?”
“Bathroom. Was getting ready to take a selfie for the applications. My hair needed combing, for an authentic look.”
Two hours later.
“Mom, it’s almost 11, no essays yet. And Jeremy hasn’t gotten my homework to me. I’m nervous.”
“ Sigh. When your older brother was a high school senior, Marla pressed SUBMIT twenty-four hours before the due date. I’ve come to realize that it’s difficult to get good help anymore. People just don’t want to work.”